-Dusts off my blog-
Damn, okay, so that didn't quite work out. To anyone who looks at this - terribly sorry for the hiatus.
I had actually intended on ... actually posting something, but I work in retail, and the months of October to January are what most people might refer to as: Hell.
As for recently, I'm in the middle of moving again, so things have been a little complicated, and also - it's just really hard for me too keep reading this Goddamn book over and over again...
Anyway, show must go on. I found my marked-up copy of this paperback idiocy, I've had a decent enough break from looking at it - on with the show!
Before I get totally into it, I'd like to thank Paperbacks from Hell by Grady Hendrix for getting me back into the spirit. If you don't know what this book is, it's a collection of pulp horror novel artwork done in the 70's and 80's during the paperback horror boom and - let me tell you - some of these, I'm actually dying to get my hands on. They're the dumbest things I've ever seen and would be so much fun to read.
Note: as of writing this, I have found some here and there and have actually read one of them so far. More on that later.
So the title of this chapter is "The Wrath of God" so we already know we're in for a fun time.
We last left the idiot siblings still locked in their room after exploring the attic and waiting for their mother's arrival. When she finally comes in, Cathy and Chris instantly notice she's moving very stiffly, her face looks pale and she wont look any of them in the eye.
Mum's not doing too great then.
She asks how their day went and immediately the twins start complaining that they were locked in the room, forced to go into an attic and a ton of mediocre things that probably seem like nothing compared to the day their mom had.
To be fair - yeah they're like - three years old.
I don't care, I hate these kids. I hate reading about them. I hate most of their dialogue.
Carrie the moose starts shrieking and hitting and screaming and all the things she's already known for, and Corrine tries to calm her down with little to show for it, when nurse Ratchett shows up.
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| For the record, the movie from the 80's is a real gem. An insanely campy, terribly melodramatic gem |
She commands that Corrine shut her children up that instant (her words, not mine for a change) with a look on her face that suggests she'd do it for her in another few seconds.
To show just how well behaved she is, Carrie goes over to the Grandmother and does this:
"Planting her small feet wide apart, Carrie threw back her head, opened her rosebud mouth and really let go!"
It's scenes like this that give a perfect example of why I hate this child. I can't do temper-tantrums, and this whole scene has me on the evil grandma's side of this. They're spoiled as Hell and scream whenever they don't like something.
Sorry, I really don't like children.
Let us continue.
The Grandmother grabs Carrie by the hair and lifts her up off the ground, and Cory - the twin I don't hate - takes it upon himself to defend his twin and runs at The Grandmother and bites onto her leg. The Grandmother drops Carrie on the ground and Cory starts kicking her with his tiny little feet.
"...Cory didn't flinch, his only reaction to this very obvious threat was a deeper, more fierce scowl as his small hands knotted into fists raised in professional boxer style."
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| Meanwhile I try not to ask why there were so many options when I googled "Boxing hamster" |
They both start screaming and The Grandmother makes it clear she's done fucking around. She starts slapping them both hard enough to send them flying and they go and cower in a corner (still screaming).
While all this has been going on, by the way, neither the older children, nor their mother have done a thing. They're literally all just sitting their watching it. I'll give Corrine a free pass this time (you'll find out why in a minute) but the other two? What's their excuse?
The twins finally stop screaming when their Grandmother actually grabs them both by the scruff and just throws them back on the floor. With as harsh as this is, what she says next really has you kind of agreeing with her:
"... 'Obviously your children have been spoiled and indulged, and are in desperate need of lessons in discipline and obedience... Hear that!'"
I skipped a little in the middle there, I mostly just like the - not a question - "Hear that!" at the end.
And then she says this...
" 'Now take of your blouse, daughter, and show those who disobey just how punishment is dealt out in this house!'"
So, I lost track of what's been going on in the Dollanganger drinking game, but we're just gonna add:
"Take a shot when something in this book comes out sounding way more sexual than it really needs to"
So Corrine tries to reason with her, saying the twins have stopped crying and there's no need for that. However, the Grandmother makes it clear that she wont fall for her daughter's "pretty face and beguiling ways" which really just adds more fodder to that essay - and then calls her a deceitful, lying bit of trash.
Mother of the year, this one.
Speaking of decent parenting, Corrine has a single moment of maybe trying to stand up for herself by telling the Grandmother that if she's cruel to her children (too late) that she'll take them out of the house tonight and the Grandmother will never see any of them again.
I really don't know why she thought this would work.
Cathy gets her hopes up, thinking that they're going to get out of that house and never have to go up in the attic again and ... no.
Predictably, the Grandmother tells Corrine that she can leave and she doesn't care if she never sees any of them again, which - really - Corrine should know better, considering what just happened.
So because she has nowhere else to go and coming to the house was literally the last resort other than....getting a job(?), Corrine doesn't do anything that would get her kids out of a horribly abusive situation and instead ends up doing what her crazy mother says and takes her blouse off, showing them her back, covered in whip marks.
" 'Take a good look, children. Know that those whip marks go all the way down to your mother's feet. Thirty-three lashes, one for each year of her life. And fifteen extra for each year she lived in sin with your father.' "
The Grandmother's full rant goes on to explain that she was the one who actually whipped her even though Corrine's father was the one who ordered the punishment and that her marriage was a sin against God and that she had that many children with him was evil and ... this woman's entire range of dialogue really just is more of the same...
And then we get some more uncomfortable inner monologue from Cathy:
"My eyes bulged at the sight of those pitiful welts on the creamy tender flesh that our father had handled with so much love and gentleness."
Yeah, I always talk about my mother's skin this way - oh wait - no I don't - cause that's fucking weird.
Either way - take a shot.
So this marks the first part of this book where Cathy is filled with hatred and starts vowing revenge on the Grandmother and starts glaring at her, which seems like a great idea, considering.
The Grandmother explains that she'll give the children food and shelter (like a good Christian?) but they can expect no kindness or friendship from her and she would feel nothing but repulsion towards them. She wants them to know that they are the Devil's Issue - which is another phrase that'll come up a lot - and that they're horrible creatures with no hope of redemption and really I'm getting tired of writing the same thing over and over.
Cathy vows that she'll never be made to hate her father and would strike back at the Grandmother someday in any way she can. She looks over at Chris, who is also glaring at the Grandmother but, she realizes, more in anger over what she did to Corrine. Cathy explains that Chris loves Corrine more than the rest of them and puts her on a pedestal of perfection above all others:
"He'd already told me that when he grew up, he'd marry a woman who was like our mother."
You thought I was joking about the Oedipus thing, didn't you?
We end this chapter with Cathy wondering why they were brought to this house, why had their mother thought it would be safe for them, hadn't she known what her parents would be like, why they were brought in the dead of night, etc. etc.
Will we find out the answer to these questions?
Tune in next time and find out!
